Holy Crap! Am I an Addict?
• August 31, 2021
We all have our awakening moments ...
Everyone has a moment in their life when they have a “come to Jesus” moment. It's a moment when their true self is revealed and there is no arguing with it. I had such a moment this weekend.
Perhaps I should give you a little context to what happened and share how I learned that I might be an addict. This upcoming week is vacation week. A loooong awaited glorious vacation to the beach with family. It’s been two years since I’ve been able to take a trip, so perhaps you can relate to the excitement that I was feeling to get out of town for the week.
The entire week was filled with preparation and “to do’s”. One of the last things on my list to complete was packing. Nothing out of the normal. In fact, for the most part, things were going fairly smooth! Murphy did not make an appearance at all, until Friday night at 9:42. What’s so important about Friday night at 9:42 you ask? It’s the last time I saw my phone. I know this because I sent my sister, Julie a text to cover some last minute preppy stuff and then *poof* .. GONE! Seriously. My iPhone decided to go missing. I think I discovered the missing phone around 10:00 or so as I was wrapping up all the things on my list. I realized I hadn’t checked my phone for my sister’s text response and immediately went on the search. I knew where I placed my phone while I was packing and I remember when I LAST used my phone, so I figured it was just a matter of retracing my steps and locating said phone. To no avail, I could not find it anywhere. It was no where to be found. I wracked my brain as I moved through each spot I had visited. I KNEW it was in the freaking house! To make things worse, the darn thing was on silent, so I couldn’t have anyone call me to try to pin point its hiding spot. I looked high and low. Nothing. At this point, some serious inner dialogue started to take place in my head … “where the *!@% could it be! I know it’s here somewhere! What the Eff!!” I may have even cursed a lot more .. which if anyone knows me knows that's not typically my thing.
It was 11:00 pm and admittedly, I was now feeling a bit more frantic. I clearly needed more help, so I decided to reach out to "Alexa" for assistance. Besides .. Alexa knows all of the things! Names, phone numbers, favorite songs .. I sent a distress call to my sister. No answer. Hmmmm. Now what. Messenger! I sent a message to her through Facebook. Nada. “Ok, Jeanna. Clearly I need to go to plan B .. Divine intervention! It's time to pray to St. Anthony.” That’s my mom’s go to solution when she’s lost something that can’t be found. Still nothing. But then reminded myself that prayer works on God’s time, not mine. I decided to concede for the night, take a shower and just go to bed. I'm not sure that materializing a phone is on God's list of important work, but I was certain a miracle was in the works while I slept. And if a miracle wasn’t in route, I could surely rely on my family to use the Find My Phone app to solve the mystery of the missing phone.
Let me fast forward and say that God had another plan in mind since my phone was still MIA at departure time. As I was heading to the airport with my family, this was the moment when I finally had to waive the white flag and admit that I am joining the ranks of millions who are addicted to their phones. Did you know that about 81% of the American population owns a "smart" phone? That's about 258 million people! I thought this was pretty interesting. When surveyed, 75.4% of cell phone users indicated that they had an addiction to their phones. Most of the time you see the reference of addiction connected to drug, alcohol or gambling. But really, an addiction is a behavior that you are no longer in control of. The neuro-connections in the brain are so well established that the person is no longer consciously aware of their phone usage. On average, we are picking up our phone about 262 times a day. That means about every 5.5 minutes we're touching our phones. That's a lot of touching! But it really IS the ultimate tool of convenience. Think about all the things we can do with our smart phones. For me, not only is my personal life tied to the phone but so is my business life.
But I digress! I don't think I need to convince anyone on the merits of having a cell phone these days. What surprised me most was how attached to my phone I actually was. I do use it a lot! In fact, having this experience gave me a chance to check in and see if I was actually addicted to my phone. Did you know there is a word for cell phone addiction? Nomophobia. (No more phone phobia) For real! When someone is addicted to their phone (or whatever their vice is), dopamine is released into the system when it feels a reward from the behavior. Dopamine is the "happy feel good" hormone. So every time you pick up your phone and check it, play on it or distract yourself with it, a little dose of "happy" is released into your system and the behavior is reinforced again and again. Before you know it, you could be out of control to the behavior.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself (and answer honestly) to see if you might be addicted to your Cell phone:
* Do you reach for your phone the moment you're alone or bored? (I have been known to do that)
* Do you wake up multiple times during night to check your phone? (thank goodness I do NOT do this. Love my sleep time)
* Do you feel anxious, upset or short tempered when you can't find your phone? (while I did feel frustrated about losing my phone before leaving for vacation, I actually think I handled it pretty well!)
* Are you continuing to spend more and more time on your phone? (no .. there are only so many hours in the day and most of those are accounted for)
* Does your phone usage interfere with your job, school or relationships? (I do my best to keep my phone usage in check, so I don't think so)
* Are the people in your life concerned with the amount of time you're on your phone? (Again ... I think my peeps are not concerned about this)
While I'm happy to say that I am NOT a Nomophobe, I do think having this experience helped me see that life without a phone is possible and even enjoyable. Disconnecting whenever you can is good for your brain.
Have a beautiful week and blog with you next week. I'll be talking about the Inner Mean Girl so stay tuned.
This week I was reflecting on how self hate has almost become common place with people .. especially kids, which is heart breaking. We are born complete and whole. We don't have to do anything to earn Worthiness or Enoughness .. we just are. If you believe in a higher power, then you know there are no mistakes. Perhaps a divergent pattern that doesn't resemble the others, but just because it's not like the others doesn't make it wrong or defective. Every human being is an essential piece of the universal puzzle. Just take a moment, give yourself a little grace and know that when you constantly look at yourself with such a critical eye, that you're missing the intrinsic beauty of you just being you. I thought I'd share something that I wrote .. It's about seeing yourself for who you really are. Have a beautiful week and just be You . Remember, you were born whole, complete and enough. The Magic Wand From a distance I see you in the river of your tears Holding you under from the weight of your fears "I can't do this!" you scream into the night "There's nothing about me that ever seems right!" I hear your whispers swirling in your head The hurtful things that are constantly said If only a magic wand I had in my hand I'd touch your crown, and a new thought could land Suddenly your eyes wide open to what I can see The veil finally lifted, with certainty you'd agree Your inner beauty revealed so radiant, so true Completely washing all self doubt away from you The creative Genius that quietly lives within A new relationship would finally begin Now peer into the pool to see your reflection What is revealed is pure perfection Trust that you're here as your Maker intended All self judgment permanently suspended Have your own back whenever you fall Be your own best friend once and for all It's time to love all of you even when it's tough You're worthy and beautiful .. so completely enough! Until next week, sending so much love your way! xo Jeanna
This week I wanted to talk about how self limiting beliefs show up in our lives like sneaky little gremlins hiding in the closets of our minds. I think it's easy enough to identify the big mind monsters. You know .. anything that our Comparison Queen or King tells us, which always relates to the Lack of Enoughness category . "I'm not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough" statements. Comparing yourself to others never leads to anything warm and fuzzy or a productive outcome. What I want to talk about are some of the sneakier things we come to believe that on the surface seem fairly harmless. These little gremlins are the thoughts we often accept as being true and unchangeable. The real truth is that these little sentences can deteriorate your confidence and self worth over time. Learning some new power thoughts will literally change the course and direction of your life! So, as you can imagine, I think today's topic can be a real game changer! Have you ever stopped to consider the only thing holding you back from achieving your dreams is YOU and your THOUGHTS?!? Not your education, status, gender, or any other reason you might be able to come up with. It's the relationship you have with YOU! As I've shared with you before, a thought is just a sentence in your head. It just starts out as a baby spark without much to it. The power of a thought is based on how often you think it. And if you've been following me, you already know we have A LOT of thoughts dancing around up there in our noodles. The adult mind has about 65,000 thoughts a day, so it's a pretty busy place. Imagine if we hear and then think just one of those thoughts over and over again? A thought like, "this is hard." Now keep in mind, it is normal for our minds to gravitate towards negative thinking. It's one of the ways we stay alert to danger. It becomes a problem when we turn that negative thinking against ourselves. Those thoughts actually becomes the enemy within holding us back and tripping us up along the way. Today, we're going to talk about how we become self limiting in the first place, the five gremlins we need to tame and the super thoughts we can use to move from paralysis and doubt to freedom and success. The first big question we need to explore is where do self limiting beliefs come from? It actually starts at a very young age. From the time we start to interact with other humans, we're interpreting the meaning of our world. Did you know that a toddler hears the words "no" or "can't" 3 times as often as "yes" or "you can"? Just by nature, our parents are limiting our actions and our natural desire to explore. Of course, it's coming from a good place. They want to make sure we don't get hurt or put our baby selves in a dangerous situation. As children, we rely on the people around us to guide us and keep us safe. How that message is delivered isn't always done in the most supportive or positive way. Over time, the messages we receive become an accepted way of thinking and believing. And for kids, the things their parents say become their truth. But a belief is just the story that we've accepted over time. You've heard it and thought it so often that it just becomes an automatic way of thinking. A belief is not a truth. It's simply a judgment about your world, how you're experiencing it and what you need to do to stay safe. If those beliefs or stories are never questioned, how would you know that the way you're thinking is limiting your ability to show up in your life? It's like having invisible handcuffs on. Before we can begin to change our limiting beliefs and manage our minds, we need to question the things we're telling ourselves. It takes self-awareness, effort and practice. But it can be done. Let's explore five self limiting thoughts you may tell yourself without realizing it. I also included some examples of the possible emotions that get we might feel when we're thinking these things. The little two word sentence, "I can't" or "you can't" is the #1 cause of killing dreams. Fear and anxiety are normal human emotions. What if we decided that we CAN even if we're scared. Below are 5 self limiting beliefs that get in our way of being the best version of ourselves. Begin to question your beliefs and thoughts to make room for better ones. Those uncomfortable thoughts create uncomfortable feelings, which is just energy and vibrations, bouncing around in our bodies. When you give yourself permission to feel uncomfortable, you will begin to set yourself free. 1. Thought: I can't Resulting Emotions: anxiety, fear 2. Thought: I should/shouldn't Resulting Emotions: shame, judgment 3. Thought: I have to Resulting Emotions: resentment, anger 4. Thought: I don't know Resulting Emotions: confusion, doubt 5. Thought: It's just the way I am Resulting Emotions: defeat, sadness Ask yourself, are some of these self limiting gremlins causing havoc and interfering with your ability to get out of your own way? It's important to understand that the way you think impacts the way you feel and drives your actions, or in many cases our inactions. You're limiting your ability to create the life you dream of. Below are some super thoughts that will always empower you to move forward, even if it feels uncomfortable or odd. 1. New thought: This is easy Resulting Emotions: confident, calm 2. New thought: God/universe is working for me Resulting Emotions: determined, motivated 3. New thought: I can do hard things Resulting Emotions: Fearless, Courageous 4. New thought: I choose to/I want to Resulting Emotions: Empowered, Excited 5. New thought: I trust Resulting Emotions: Trusting, Present I always tell my clients that thoughts are free. Choose the ones that help you to be who you want to be. My favorite thought is "I can do hard things." Life was never intended to be without its challenges. That's what makes being human so interesting! If you choose thoughts with intention and lean into them, you will be amazed at what you're able to accomplish! As always .. make it a beautiful week and thanks for tuning in. Next week I plan to talk about Self Loathing and when did this become so trendy and noble? Remember! What's possible starts with a single thought! So think beautiful good thoughts. Until next week, sending so much love your way! xo Jeanna
